An answering machine. . .

GRANDPARENT'S ANSWERING MACHINE Good morning. . . . At present we are not at home, please Leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp ... If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who are you. If you need us to stay with the children, press 2 If you want to borrow the car, press 3 If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4 If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5 If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6 If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7 If you want to come to eat here, press 8 If you need money, dial 9 If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theater start talking we are listening !!!!!!!!!!!"

Some jokes 4 U. .. . .

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed I wrote your name in air, it was blown away, then I wrote your name on my heart and I got heart attack.. . God saw me hungry, he created pizza for me. He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi for me. He saw me in dark, he created light for me. He saw me without problems, he created YOU. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star You should know what you are And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far.. . . The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too If rain makes all things beautiful, why does not it rain on you? Roses are red, violets are blue Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo Dont feel so angry you will find me there too Not in cage but laughing at you.. .